This story begins the night of my cousin Elizabeth's
wedding, the second week of November 2012.
The wedding was outside of Hammond, Louisiana. I did not sleep that night. I could not remember sleeping a full night's
sleep from Saturday, November 10 through about December 10 or 15. I can't remember the first night I actually
slept more than 3 hours straight.
The night after November 10 (the 11th, I believe) I remember
my mind and heart racing. I remember
dancing the dances from the Buffy episode "Once More with
Feeling," which was the musical put together by Adam Shankman. I was in my bedroom probably wearing some
just below the knee length leggings. I
dance both the parts of Buffy and her younger sister Dawn. I danced and danced. Adam Shankman is also a judge on my favorite
summer television show So You Think You Can Dance. So, I went into a Bollywood style dance, as
well.
I was having the best time of my life playing in my bedroom.
Then, I thought why is my mind working so quickly? Why am I linking all of these memories and
facts that are stored in my mind? I am
thinking in old fashioned hypertext. Why
are all of these memories of my life coming to the forefront of my mind? Why am I thinking about experiences of my
past with such great clarity?
Is this enlightenment?
I had been meditating instead of sleeping the night before (the 11th or
the 12th?).
Then, I thought about one of my favorite television shows Doctor
Who. It is a science-fiction show in
which the Doctor travels through time and space trying never to double back on
his own timeline.
There was an episode in which a daughter is made from his
DNA sample, and she skips childhood. She
dies at the end instead of regenerating - as far as he knows. But, the show ends with her being brought back
to life after The Doctor has already left and moved on to his next destination.
So, I was thinking am I a daughter lost in time and space?
Perhaps.
In the show Doctor's Daughter named Jenny does gymnastics
through a laser beam grid.
I began doing what any yogini would do. I began practicing my inversions: handstands and armbalancing and headstands,
too. These came with greater ease than
they had ever come before.
This was one of the best experiences of my life.
However, I was really hungry and thirsty, too.
All of the food and water began tasting strangely. I felt like it was poisoned. Some tasted, perhaps, like rat poison (no,
I've never tasted that before). Some
tasted like iodine or formaldehyde. I
kept searching for water and food that tasted correctly - like how I
remember. It was very confusing. And, I panicked at this point.
Finally, I found some dark chocolate and that was my safe
food along with
sardines.
I dumped the
sardines in a bowl for me and a bowl for Orlan and did my best to keep us
hydrated.
I worried that the cats were dying. I worried that I was dying.
My heart was racing and beating arhythmically.
I tried listening to my CDs and none of them sounded correctly. They seemed all garbled and tortured and
ruined. The lyrics were changed.
Was this a living nightmare?
A day-mare? This is what it seemed to me.
One point in time I was a fabulous yogini. The next point in time I was in a panic to
same myself and all of the cats in the house.
Dad laid in his recliner with his cat Flash; she keeping
watch over him.
Mom was speaking like a frightened girl who had just lost
her father to cancer -- not allowed to visit him in the hospital and say her
goodbyes.
What really happened?
Perhaps my story is the truth. It
is after all my story.
The food problem freaked me out the most. My safe foods kept becoming unsafe, tasting
differently.
I'll end this posting here.
There are a lot more details and things I remember. I'm just taking my time writing them
down. The chronology probably will never
be perfect.
©2013 D. Moss
